My husband has an ex wife. She is married, has kids. About a year ago they did a really good job of nearly destroying our relationship. They told each other they love each other. They made plans to meet. They were considering the possibility of making a go of things. They called it an “email affair”.

Her husband does not want them to have any contact. I have made it perfectly clear that if they continue to have contact I will contact her husband. She knows this. Yet she still contacts him.

When I met him he was a hurt man. He had been cheated on, lied to, humiliated. I never in my wildest dreams thought he would do that to me because after all, he knows how much it hurts. He knows how it can change who you are. He knows the pain.

I know she used to read my blog. Maybe she still does. If you do, this is to you. You emailed, sms’d and phoned MY husband while he was at home with me. You discussed me and commented on my looks, what you would do in my shoes. You asked him to meet up and “see where it goes”. Why don’t you contact me and we can discuss all those things you had to say. You know what will happen if you were in contact with him yet you ignore it. I might not know today. I might not know tomorrow. But I will know. And your husband’s number is on speed dial. So shall we say the communication of 7^th July was the last? Or maybe today’s? Yesterdays? After all if it is all so innocent why all the secrecy?

I love my husband. So much that when I look at him it feels like I want to burst. I want to touch him and be close to him. I want to feel his arms around me and look into his eyes. He makes me happy, he is my best friend. He understands me. I want nothing more than his happiness. I will fight till my death to keep our relationship sacred. We are happy together. Yes he has hurt me just as I have hurt him but if our relationship is over then we will decide that. You are playing with feelings, emotions, lives. I have questions, I am hurt, I am insecure, I don’t trust. I want to be told how sorry you are. How wrong you were. That you get it. It isn’t that I don’t want him to be in contact with anyone. I just don’t want the exes. There is too much emotional history and the way this conversation went too far….it can happen again. Very quickly.

The best part though is that I can move forward. I can hold my head high and smile to the world. I can get over it. I might never forget (specially when it isn’t discussed) but I can forgive. This will not define who I am but it will define who you are. I can sleep next to the love of my life every night and wrap my arms around him. I can laugh with him and share stuff with him. I wouldn’t trade him or what we have for anything in this world. I will not be made a fool of by a woman who has no respect.

I was tagged by Acidicice and I am supposed to tag 25 people.  I will tag who I can but most of you are secret readers so if you feel like it, you are tagged.  I would love to find out more about you!!!

1. What time did you get up this morning?

7:45 am

2. How do you like your steak?

I would say medium

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

Wanted – If I remember correctly and yes….AGES ago.

4. What is your favorite TV show?

It is hard to just choose one but probably the CSI’s.  Although I am a sucker for reality TV

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

Where ever my husband is.

6. What did you have for breakfast?

Slice of bread so I could take medication

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

If I had to choose one it would be Italian

8. What foods do you dislike?

Organs, Seafood

9. Favorite Place to Eat?

Little Switzerland in Richards Bay.  Yum!!

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?

Ford Ranger double cab

12. What are your favorite clothes?

Casual comfortable.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

I’ve always wanted to go to Holland but lately Canada

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

Depends on how bad my day is but I prefer 1/2 full.

15. Where would you want to retire?

A farm setting with my husband

16. Favorite time of day?

Evening.  I can spend time with my husband and generally just relax.

17. Where were you born?

Pietermaritzburg

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

Dancing, gymnastics or skating

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

Erm…not sure

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?

See 19.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

Everyone who is willing to share.  I am a nosy parker.

22. Bird watcher?

pffft….Birds?? 

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Night.  I don’t do mornings so well

24. Do you have any pets?

5 Cats:  Shadow, Spartan, Brat, Tigger and Pinky

5 Dogs:  Cody, Zena, Nosh and new puppies Jessie and Fudge

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?

Unfortunately not.  But if I do it will be here.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?

A teacher. 

27. What is your best childhood memory?

Anything involving my mom. She tried to make everything special for us.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

Both. Obviously based on question 24!! 

29. Are you married?

Yes, to the love of my life

30. Always wear your seat belt?

99.9% of the time

31. Been in a car accident?

Only a fender bender

32. Any pet peeves?

Mostly dishonesty, disrespect and being two faced. 

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?

Bacon, mushroom, pineapple or Romans’ Russian and Caramelised onion

34. Favorite Flower?

I love daisies!

35. Favorite ice cream?

Any ice cream to be honest.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?

Probably KFC but after our recent disaster we’ve been leaning more towards Nando’s

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?

Once – because someone else hooted at me. 

38. From whom did you get your last email?

My husband

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Probably a stationary shop if I had to. 

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

hehe…..like I would tell……

41. Happy with your job?

:/

42. Broccoli?

Will eat it if it is given to me but not my first choice

43. What was your favorite vacation?

The upcoming one…..to Cape Town.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

My husband.

45. What are you listening to right now?

My husband watching He-Man DVD and MP3’s in the background

46. What is your favorite color?

It used to be blue but PINK seems to in the lead for now.

47. How many tattoos do you have?

1 so far.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?

As many as I can

49. What time did you finish this quiz?

17:37

50. Coffee Drinker?

YES!!!

I tag:

Acidicice  Because you tagged me

Anja

Jo-Ann

BB

And anyone else that is keen

For a very very long time – ok since forever – I have been careful what I say here and what I say these things about. I was scared of who was reading. What they would say. What if it causes trouble. What if my husband gets angry with me.

From today…..no more what if’s. This is my space. This is where I can say what I feel. If you don’t like what you read then you don’t have to read it. If you are not interested then you don’t have to read it. But this is where I can say my say and maybe hear other people’s opinions.

I am not censoring myself anymore.

This is my space!